How to Conquer Mom Frustration

Do you ever find yourself feeling “burnt”? I mean, like you can’t find even a second to catch your breath? There is a place where a mother of many children can find herself worn to a frazzle. It’s a constant state of mom frustration, which leads to anger, which leads to depression. In our minds we are like hamsters going round and round in a cage of our own making, thinking about:

  • People outside; their opinions and opposition
  • Our physical limitations; fatigue, lack of time, lack of money, lack of space
  • Our children (sometimes our husbands); their attitudes, lack of discipline, health, abilities, destructive tendencies

Every day, sometimes every moment, we have a choice; will we marinate in the problems, or marinate in the solutions!

Jesus said,

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.

Matthew 17:20

Some mountains are meant to be gone up, over and through. Others are meant to be cast into the sea.

No matter what, we are never overcome.

As the Apostle Paul said:

Through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

2 Corinthians 6:8-10

and the Apostle John says this:

For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

1 John 5:4

We don’t have to be a slave to frustration. There is a way to tackle and conquer it!

First of all, we need to make a list of all of our problems and frustrations,

And not just the obvious feelings, but the actual roots of our discomfort. In other words, instead of saying, “My children frustrate me,” we need to write down the specific ways they frustrate us, like, “My child disrespects me,” or “My child leaves his/her clothes all over the house,” etc.  A list might include some of the following thoughts:

  • I stumble over shoes, toys and clothes wherever I step
  • My house looks cluttery
  • I can’t find a pencil or a pen when I need one
  • My children are cranky in the morning
  • My children complain and don’t do their schoolwork on time
  • My husband is angry when he comes home from work
  • Dinner every night is a horrible experience
  • Every time I talk on the phone with my relatives, I always feel really, really depressed or upset
  • We are always running out of things at the end of the month
  • I’m tired all of the time

Does this list look familiar?

After we have completed this step, we need to take each item and put it into one of two categories:

1. Things we cannot personally fix.

This includes the thoughts and behaviors of others, such as the prejudices of family members or neighbors, the amount of money that our husbands make, etc.

2. Things we have (at least some) control over.

This includes any and every area of our jurisdiction, such as our own attitudes, our daily routine, the discipline of our children, etc.

We then take those things that worry us, but over which we have little or no control, and put them into a prayer journal, complete with date. Then we need to pray over this list and cast all of the burden of it onto God and not take it back up again:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Next, we need to take those items over which we do have some control and put them into another list. Then we need to:

Pray

If you don’t even know where to start, try praying the Word. I like to pray in the Spirit, which always helps clear my mind and gives me peace, knowing that I am praying in the perfect will of God.

Think

Once your mind is clear and aligned with the Spirit of God, you will be able to put your thoughts together more easily.

Research

Look into possible solutions others have come up with.

and

Activate

Don’t just make plans, PUT THEM INTO ACTION!

This is in accordance with Psalm 37:3:

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Here are some of the items on my action list, with some of the solutions I have come up with:

Problem: I can never find a brush to care for the little girls’ hair in the morning.

Solution: Purchase three cheap brushes and have each one strategically placed in a ziploc with barrettes on each floor of the house, so no matter where I am or where they are in the rush of the day I can take care of them.

Problem: I can’t think to write a blog post when everyone is constantly interrupting.

Solution: Write down my ideas as I am living my day on index cards, then take an hour in the morning after I drop my son off at work while everyone is sleeping and do my serious writing.

Problem: Breakfasts seem to be hodge-podge and unorganized, always leaving me to think too hard in the morning.

Solution: Have a list of possible foods that are readily available and easy to fix, such as homemade instant oatmeal (this week’s flavor is maple and pecan), etc.

Problem: The older children are having trouble being positive, and it is affecting the whole house.

Solution: Sit down and read to them or play a sermon out loud at times when they are a “captive audience,” such as when we are shuttling them around in the car!

Instead of using my available thinking time up by going over my frustrations and problems, I am disciplining myself to think of possible solutions.

Then my thoughts are turning into positive actions, and my actions are turning into positive results, and my whole attitude and being is turning upward to the abundant life God has planned for me!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

John 10:10

Now, you can begin!

Take action and

1. Believe in faith that God is working your problems for your good according to Romans 8:28, and

2. Take action and responsibility and begin to see positive results.

As you are progressing, make sure and share so that others can be blessed by your testimony!

6 thoughts on “How to Conquer Mom Frustration

  1. Thank you! I used your suggestion of identifying specific reasons for my frustration. Too often, I don’t really stop to evaluate WHY I’m feeling irritated. I realized I wasn’t leaving enough time to get my kids out the door which led to a perpetual feeling of running late and the anxiety that accompanies that. This week, I added a simple 10 minutes on to my prep time when we need to go somewhere, and that little increment is helping tremendously.
    I appreciate so much your simple, clear-thinking, Christ-centered encouragement. Of all the blogs on the internet, yours is the only one I actually subscribe to.

    • What an honor to be the only blog you subscribe to! I’m so pleased you were able to put my ideas to practical, helpful use. This is my heart’s desire, to bless moms just like you!

  2. This is good stuff. I totally agree! Most of our problems are not one-time events – they are the same thing, every day, over and over and over. Most of the time we take the time to register frustration, but not to do anything constructive about solving the problem! These are such good reminders – thank you.

    • Your description is excellent, Diana. I know what it’s like to feel trapped with no way out, the amazing thing to remember is that with Jesus we can find the nugget of joy wrapped in every circumstance.

  3. Thank for taking the time to invest in others! God used this to speak to my current issues and challenge me today. I feel very blessed that there are some areas in Christ that we are supposed to take charge and order. Your mind map advice has been a big blessing in this area too.

    • Thank you for the sweet comment, Christi. It’s great to hear that God is helping you take charge of your portion of life for the glory of God!

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