How to be Nice to Your Family

Whether or not to be nice to my big family is a decision I have to make daily.

Long ago I realized that we as women can be life-givers, or we can bring death. While we carry human life in our bodies, we can also speak words that kill.

I don’t know about you, but before I had children I was not a naturally cheerful person. It was always so much easier to work for darkness, and I was so immensely equipped to be filled with negativity and bring others down.

But no matter what our natural tendencies, we need to choose what side we will work for; the kingdom of darkness or the kingdom of light.

So how do we do it?

Try this:

  • Every morning, as soon as you realize it is morning, don’t begin by thinking about how good and kind you are going to be–that is a great way to ensure that you will fail miserably.
  • Instead, focus your thoughts on God–God as He expresses Himself in the Bible as being full of comfort, lovingkindness, forgiveness.

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort

2 Corinthians 1:3

  • Imagine that Jesus is right there beside you, as He said in His Word, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Fix your entire gaze on Jesus, just as the Apostle Paul said, “Looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.” If you will do this, your own, nasty, grumpy, tired self will melt away, and the grace of God will flood your heart and your mind.
  • Next, put those feelings and thoughts of goodwill to use by greeting your family members with cheerfulness, allowing yourself to be a conduit to put God’s courage in their hearts for the day ahead. As you give it away, it will grow bigger in you.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Proverbs 11:25

A picture of donuts decorated with fruit and cream and the titles, "How to be nice to your family."
  • Act like you are cheerful and loving and amazingly patient and understanding, even if your conscience tells you you aren’t being “real.” This really works, believe me! Even if your emotions don’t kick in at first, your spirit will eventually gain the upper hand and you will begin to become the wonderful person inside that you portray on the outside.

Then, after your insides are beautiful, you can dress up your outsides to match!

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10 thoughts on “How to be Nice to Your Family”

  1. Thank you so much…I needed this right at this very moment. I have been horribly irritable with my children, displeased with my church and just spewing ugliness. I dont want to be that person, yet it seems that a part of me is holding on to it, (for dear life almost). God is using you to redirect me. Thank you

    • So glad! We can all get in those ruts, can’t we? Thank God for His grace and mercy–He doesn’t leave us there 🙂

    • Are we the same person?!! Exactly what I needed to hear too. just needed to remember that I should turn on my Bible app when my eyes open instead of my Fox News app!
      Garbage in garbage out is certainly true!

      • Me, too!! Could not have come at a more needed, prayed for time. The subject at church today, too…..hmmm, I wonder if meant for me?

  2. As I have seen many times Sherry, you have again spoken well. I believe act with a good dose of will….act and will yourself to be nice even when you just don’t wanna. Under and entwined in God’s good will!! Isn’t that how we “act” away from home? Blessings and thanks to you!

    • That’s an excellent point; we find ways to act nice while in public by “putting on” a face–we should love our families enough to do the same 🙂

  3. GRACIAS HERMANA POR TUS COMENTARIOS, TAMBIEN MUCHAS VECES ME SIENTO MAL, ESTOY IRRITABLE Y HAGO IRRITAR A LOS QUE ME RODEAN, TENGO QUE CAMBIAR ESA SITUACION, NO SIEMPRE ES ASI, PERO A VECES ESTOY ABRUMADA CON TANTAS COSAS EN MI CABEZA……… ME GUSTARIA SER MAS PACIENTE, AMABLE, TRATAR QUE LOS PROBLEMAS NO ME SAQUEN DE MI CENTRO DE MI EQUILIBRIO EMOCIONAL Y ESPIRITUAL, NO SER QUEJOSA POR ESTO O AQUELLO, PERO SE QUE DIOS ESTA TRABAJANDO ESAS AREAS EN MI VIDA. LOS TIEMPOS NOS ESTAN ADVIRTIENDO QUE EL REY DE REYES ESTA LLEGANDO, VIENE PRONTO, ¿QUE CLASE DE CRISTIANA VERA EN MI? ¿ME DIRA: ESTA ES MI HIJA AMADA EN LA CUAL TENGO COMPLASENCIA? TE ENVIO MUCHAS BENDICIONES DESDE BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA. ¿ALGUNA VEZ LE ENSEÑASTES A TUS HIJOS EN LA CLASE DE GEOGRAFIA SOBRE MI HERMOSO PAIS? ABRAZOS A LA DISTANCIA EN EL AMOR DE JESUS.

    • Querida Ana, entiendo tu dilema. Todos luchamos por ser dulces, a veces más que otros. Sí, Jesús vendrá pronto, ¡y no seremos tan felices! Argentina es un buen país para estudiar el próximo año con mis hijos. Muchos abrazos de vuelta a ti 🙂

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