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How to Become a Peaceful Mom

Moms can, and must, find peace.  When they don’t, they become a menace to their families.

I know all about it, peace that is, and that’s saying a lot. People don’t believe me. They say it’s not possible for a mom of 15 to know even the meaning of the word, but I do. I may even have more insights into the subject that the “experts.”

I actually googled, “How to find peace” just to see what the general consensus on the subject might be. Can I say that the methods suggested were definitely not written with mothers in mind? Let me share just a few of the highlights:

  • Go to a café and sip coffee slowly while you watch people sit and read the newspaper.

I can just imagine this one! While I’m sitting sipping coffee slowly, the children are fighting over the sugar container. The other patrons aren’t reading their newspapers (and they are no longer sitting in the café) because of all of the chatter and noise we are creating.

  • Get a good night’s sleep

Ha! I gave that one up about 15 babies ago. I’m so used to interrupted sleep that it is my normal, even though we don’t have infants in the house anymore. By necessity I am an excellent sleeper, which to me means I can fall asleep instantly after any interruption and sleep deeply whenever I wish (something my husband envies). This is God’s gift to me, “for lo He giveth His beloved sleep” (Psalm 127).

  • Visit a garden in Paris

This one has to make you want to roll on the floor holding your sides. I’m not kidding, it was actually on someone’s list! I could imagine a mom saying, “I need some peace and tranquility. Pack up kids, we’re off to Paris to visit a garden!”

  • Fill your home with rocks, flowers, and candles 

Well, we often have rocks in the house, and I have been presented with quite a number of wilted wildflower bouquets, but when we talk candles we are thinking flames and screams and fire extinguishers…

I’m sure your experiences are similar!

In order to create the perfect, tranquil environment I would have to nag my husband to death and tie my children in a closet. Since neither idea is acceptable to me, I have had to look at the subject from a different angle.

In the early years I would bounce back-and-forth and up-and-down according to environment and circumstances. Then I discovered a something awesome:

Your environment does not create your peace.

Your peace creates your environment.

So, the trick is not to create the perfect home (decor, children, husband, etc.), but to become so peaceful that it flows out into all the other parts of your life. This happens because:

A peaceful mom can think more clearly.

She isn’t flustered by crying babies or childish noise. She can do more than put two thoughts together, she can manage multiple tasks and projects in multiple parts of her life all at the same time.

Her thoughts are aligned and in order because they are not disturbed by conflict and unrest.

A peaceful mom can plan more carefully.

The tranquility of her thought patterns enable her to see into the future with positive creativity. As the Bible says, “she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25).

A peaceful mom can face crisis and react correctly.

She isn’t disturbed by spilled milk. When the washing machine breaks down she doesn’t lose focus. She doesn’t take her frustrations out on her husband or her children.

She can come up with positive ways to face and overcome obstacles instead of buckling under them and giving in to despair.

All great benefits, right? I don’t think there is one mom reading this who isn’t craving this kind of life. I’m telling you right now that any mom can have all this and more, if she realizes this great rule:

The true path to peace is not paved with effort. It is paved with abandonment.

Peace, the type that brings all the benefits mentioned above, doesn’t rest on feelings, it rests on solid facts. Here are the facts that make the foundations of my peace as firm as bedrock:

God is a good God and His plans for me are good.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

I am on His side, and He is on my side. He gives me everything I need, “I shall not want.” Jesus prayed that God’s kingdom would come to earth, a kingdom filled with love, joy, and light!

In every circumstance God is working for my good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

This includes teen meltdowns, financial challenges, feelings of isolation, attacks from the outside. There is always a kernel of His goodness, a problem that in its solving can only become a blessing.

If I keep my gaze on Jesus, I can enjoy the benefits of heaven no matter what my circumstances might be.

I can’t tell you how much this blesses me! There have been times when everything was turned upside-down and I was forced into situations where nothing was familiar. But Jesus was always there, His presence sweeter than ever.

This is something the world cannot experience or understand. I recall a story about a dear believer suffering under a tyrannical regime for her faith. Her captors were frustrated because every time they tortured her her face would light up in a huge smile. When they asked her why, she told them that when they were beating her she would close her eyes and see Jesus standing with her and His presence filled her with peace and joy. Their solution? To tape her eyes open. Did it work? Of course not–her vision of Jesus continued no matter what they tried.

How can evil fight against something like that? It can’t!

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

Psalm 16:11

With all these things in mind, I can’t help but release my worrying, fretting, and negative reacting. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I can rest peacefully knowing that God is big enough to take care of it.

We don’t have to carry it, all of the diapers, the laundry, the bill paying, the homeschooling. We can release it into the huge hands of our majestic, marvelous, magnificent Heavenly Father.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified version)

Hallelujah! I just have to finish this post quick so I can go dance and sing…I have written myself happy!

I hope this has helped you today. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me, either privately or in the comments below. I love to hear from you and it is my greatest privilege to encourage and bless you.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Philippians 4:6

16 Comment

  1. Thank you once again for the words of wisdom. I’m writing these principles in my journal this morning so I don’t forget. This is exactly what I needed to hear.

  2. I have not been at peace lately. In fact, the total opposite. I was running kids around to a million and one activities yesterday. How do you choose what to say yes to and what to stay out of? I have a lot of kids that are not yet driving but old enough to be involved. We homeschool too. Help! Advice appreciated!

    1. I understand how you are feeling. Actually, I did not get our kids involved in very much until they were able to get around by themselves. Here is my philosophy on that in a nutshell: If I am spending my energy and time running all over town, there won’t be much of myself left over. I will never be able to give my children everything, but if I limit outside activities, I can give them myself (attention, patience, etc.). They will have the rest of their lives to get “involved” (and most of them are very busy as adults; they are involved in worship, youth ministry, started their own homeschool group (for their children), taken music lessons, and on and on. If we got involved at church, it was as a family so we weren’t doing things at all different times.

  3. Hello! I most definitely know that The Lord has directed my steps to come across your page. I could not have found it at a better time than now. I only have two littles and I and completely overwhelmed. My husband is a very busy man, doing full time teaching, a student, ministry, leading our bible study, and Coast Guard. All to make ends meet for our family! Which leaves me at home alone with the kiddos. So most of the disciplines on me. I’m a full time stay at home mum ;)! I grew up with a family of 4 siblings. And I never knew it would be so hard to raise children. I always have wanted them. And a big family. But I feel as though I’m am failing every day. Giving myself over to frustrations. I have a two year old and a 4 year old. I don’t feel like I have very much control over them until I get angry. And then I just feel awful. I’m awake now lying in bed praying with The Lord to help me for a better day tomorrow. To be more kind and patient. But I thoroughly enjoyed your article. I’m praying for peace. Praying I can be more patient. But I also know I’m not in my Word which would anchor my soul and give me Peace. And a sound mind. And self control no matter what is happening. No matter who hit who or who wants milk or who threw the shoe at someone. 😉

    1. Dearest Meg,

      I truly understand how you are feeling. It was going through a lengthy seminar called “Eve Reborn” that helped me back when I had three children under three years old. One of the principles I learned was giving my child a drink of water, like Jesus said we should do “unto the least of these.” It helped me to look at each child as Jesus, that I was serving Him by serving them. If we can see Him in their eyes, it is much harder to react. It also helped to play good, Christian teaching on the radio while I was cleaning the house. Today we have much more choices via the Internet and we can be more specific so that we are being fed better.

      One thing I believe the Lord wants you to know is that He sees you, and He wants you to run into His open arms. His love covers a multitude of sins. It is His good pleasure to help you. As you bask in His love and care for you, it will be much easier to love your dear children.

      Blessings,

      Sherry

  4. Wow i love your blog. I am a mum of twelve and am expecting number 13. I felt really down and like an alien. The thought of all the outside negativities towards a big family bogged me down. We too homeschool.
    Finding your blog today was like a lifeline. Thank you

    1. I understand all of those “negatives” Emma. When you have a grand-mega-whopping amount of children it seems as though there is a huge bulls-eye drawn on your back. If one of our children goes out with her shoes untied tongues wag. But that becomes less and less important as time goes on. We don’t think of ourselves as an oddity. We are just normal human beings doing what comes naturally, so it kind of astonishes us when we get comments now, except it is a lot of fun seeing the reactions–might as well enjoy them!

      I’m so glad you feel refreshed here. Praising God because He has given me the desire of my heart–to bless other moms.

  5. Thank you for this post, Sherry. It’s very inspiring and challenging at the same time. I must admit, this is an area in which I struggle greatly, as does my husband. Thank you for the challenge to keep trying!

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