I’m gonna say some things that have been on my heart a long, long time. I allude to these things in loads of posts, but I ‘m going to hit them head-on here. It may not set right with everyone, but time is short, so diplomacy is in little supply. It’s past time to sit and hope the storm passes us over; it’s time we learn to fight like women.
New! You can read the post, and/or listen to the audio blog version (which is slightly different):
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Here is my statement:
We wouldn’t be here if women hadn’t abandoned their place.
I had a friend in middle school in the ’70’s who walked around in a t-shirt that read, “Women belong in the House…and in the Senate.” And here we are in the 2020’s, and we certainly have women in the House and the Senate!
Now, there are women in those chambers who are amazingly heroic, even more heroic than the men there, and women who are historically wicked, even more wicked than the men there. In fact, it could be said that it’s the wicked women who are running the entire corrupt government.
And what’s my point?
We are in an awful place, and we can’t blame the men.
Can I prove this? Yes.
It was the early ’60’s, and this is what was written:
He [the infidel] is no longer with us. As early as the first years of this century denominational periodicals noted his passing. Today “infidelity” strikes the ear with an antique ring that suggests “old, unhappy, far-off things, and battles long ago.” The archaic sound of the term as a synonym for “unbelief” or “free thought” signals the passing of one phase of an enduring conflict between Church and World…the infidel is gone.
Martin Marty as quoted in The New Atheism, Robert A. Morey
Can’t imagine that one, can you? Certainly, there were many who did not obey God, but everyone knew of Him, believed in Him. If a perp was apprehended someone could say to him, “Don’t you know that God sees you and punishes the wicked,” and he would have shaken his head in affirmation. There would not have been any thought police running amok with writs and threats. Even the newspapers would have confirmed it.
Then some very key things happened.
First of all, we had Chinese-style “sensitivity groups” sprouting up all over the place. These groups convinced us there were problems in our societal fabric. The idea fostered was that people were not being treated “fairly.” Young people, black people, American Indians, and, especially, women, were being pushed to the side, walked on, and taken advantage of. Gatherings were being held where grievances were brought out, and the poison of bitterness spread from one area to another.
Of course, the media helped the equality movement along. Our natural, godly proclivity to help the downtrodden was turned against us. We became hyper-reactive to any perceived injustice, and when we gave an inch, a mile was taken from us.
It was like inviting that unfortunate relative over for the weekend who then proceeds to stay for 20 years and takes over the entire house.
In the decade of the 1960’s we went through the greatest societal transformation of any decade in human history save the decade after the resurrection of Christ. We gave up the right for our children to pray in school. We were given the “pill” and encouraged women to be liberated (to be as filthy as the men they denigrated for being filthy). We gave up the right for poor people to feel the satisfaction of hard work and morality via the “war on poverty.”
People were “dropping out, and turning on.” God was dead, Timothy Leery was a hero. Flags and braziers were burning in the streets while people were shouting about freedom.
The October 22, 1965, issue of Time magazine contained an article in the “Religion” section, entitled “Theology: The God Is Dead Movement”, that addressed a movement among American theologians who openly embraced the notion of the death of God. Then six months later the controversial Easter issue of Time appeared on April 8, 1966, shocking the public with the provocative question—in huge red type against a black background—”Is God Dead?”
Wikipedia
But what we didn’t notice were the shackles of slavery being formed by our own words.
And in the 1970’s we made divorce as easy to obtain as fast food. Good bye moms at home, hello to latch-key kids! Along with this was the idea that sex wasn’t only for marriage, but was moral if you truly loved someone…which could be numerous people over the course of one’s life, or over the course of one year…
Women were liberated to work outside the home, but the complaint was they weren’t getting the important jobs they needed for personal fulfillment. They also weren’t receiving the important paychecks they needed since they were the sole support of their families, so here were more things to shout and complain about.
The house was divided, and not in just one side against the other. It was multiple sides beating each other, vying for center stage.
Our enemies started rubbing their hands together over the bonfire that our nation was becoming. It was heartening for them, heart-wrenching for us.
And it slid on down from there. Currently, they are forcing children, against the wishes of their parents, to have surgical gender changes (with other children receiving puberty blockers). They are designing jumpsuits for women who are going to be required to parachute onto the battlefield while pregnant, something I can speak about since I was in the Army and pregnant twice (the draft for young women is coming, watch for it–incidentally, did you know the military’s efforts at making physical combat testing gender-neutral failed because women were failing at a rate of 65%?).
One of our nation’s highest health officials is a male who was filmed wearing a Little Bo Peep outfit in an airline terminal (and it wasn’t Halloween). Then there is the report that 10,000,000 children are trapped in human trafficking around the world (and you could go further if you consider the adrenochrome scandals). And what is this about the mass murder of the elderly in nursing homes?
Pure. Unadulterated. Evil.
Yes, there have been heroic efforts to shore things up, and we have had times where we successfully put out a number of fires. But there was a missing element that was never quite able to gain the strength it needed to pull the car out of the ditch.
Dare we say it…dare we put forth the truth? Will we be able to hear it? If so, there is still hope.
I know this flies in the face of everything we have been taught, but if you can step back and view the entire board, I think you will begin to see the patterns. Our enemies have wanted us to abandon our roles as women, to turn us into one androgynous mass, to make us weak. They knew that if they could blur the lines between male and female we would be easier to overcome. They were right.
We need men, real men, and we need real women. Neither is dispensable, both are desperately necessary.
Men are gifted with the greater sexual drive. When women are moral, they channel this sexual energy by their unwillingness to have sex outside of marriage. If women are immoral, men lose the desire for marriage. As the old saying goes, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” When women don’t say “no,” men are left without reasons to settle down with one woman. Yes, there are fewer divorces these days, but there are also fewer marriages.
Men have been accused of being selfish. This is actually a tendency to be singularly focused. When a man has a wife and children to care for, his energy and thoughts are focused on caring for his family. In this way a woman is God’s way to teach a man to be selfless.
Men have been accused of being impulsive and rash. This is actually the willingness to take risk. When a man has a family to care for, he takes risks to take care of his family. God has given him the ability to look forward as a warrior spies out the land. His wife’s more cautious nature tempers this, and together they make better decisions.
Men orchestrate and build. They like to gather things and put them in place. We women take these things and add grace and beauty. Together we create works of art.
Men protect and provide. Women are the nurturers. When I was a little girl I experienced such security knowing my daddy would make sure we had the things we needed. There was no safer place for me than in his arms. He worked hard to provide a place we could live, but Mom was the one that made it livable. She soothed tummy aches and made sure we were eating healthy meals. Together, men and women are parenting dynamos. When women take on the providing part, men recede into the background and begin wasting their natural resources of time and energy on fruitless activity.
When women ditch their amazing job as wives and mothers, they lose their best opportunity to influence society for the better.
Yes, there are incredibly courageous women right now fighting for morality, but where are the men? Have our efforts to make them feel worthless panned out? Are they finally in submission, uneasily accepting their new roles as the “weaker sex?”
Seems likely. Other than for stud, what is their role, anyway?
I’m too disgusted to continue…
But we can still FIGHT!
Not by lifting our fists and making a muscle like Rosie the Riveter. No, we need to fight like women.
We have been told over and over that our jobs as wives and mothers were unimportant, when we are actually the glue that holds society together.
God knew. He told us over and over and over in His Word. Why don’t we ever listen to Him?
Here it is in Titus chapter 2:
But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Titus 2:1-5
It’s just like baking a cake. If you want it to come out right, you have to follow the directions. Did you notice that last part, “That the word of God may not be blasphemed”? What does that mean?
It means that when men and women aren’t operating in their roles, they are destructive and bring shame on God. Seriously, that’s what is happening right now.
So, if we want the opposite to happen, we must do the opposite (every action has an opposite and equal reaction–third in Newton’s laws of physics).
So, let’s give some possibles:
- Don’t get intimate outside of marriage. That means every kind of intimacy–keep it clean, keep it platonic. Make men earn it, and they will rise to the occasion.
- When you do get married, learn to trust God to work through your husband. Just like Sarah as mentioned in 1 Peter chapter three. Men love to be valued for using their abilities to build.
- Be a feminine influence rather than a feminist battle ax. Stop being man-like and enjoy being womanly.
- Be home-centered. Homemaking is not a drudgery, it is a privilege and can be an art if we will develop it. Create a museum filled with beautiful memories.
- Love and embrace children selflessly. No more of this “I need to have a life” junk. Think living sacrifice–remember the instruction booklet, Romans chapter 12, verses 1-2. (As an aside, children are supposed to be the direct reason for sex, not an incidental by-product–stuff for another post, n’est-ce pas?)
Yes, we must speak out (as I am doing here), we must protest, and we must be an influence to those outside. But if we do not begin to take care of our own homes we are lost, no matter how many guns we buy or how many letters we write or how many ways we protest.
Wonderful post, Sherry. And a great reminder to wield the agency the Lord has given us to love our husbands, make a home & disciple our children. I’m always so encouraged by what you share.
Thank you for your sweet words. I always appreciate it when you chime in, Allison 🙂
This needs to be said. I agree wholeheartedly!
Thank you, Tabitha! I think there are a lot of women who feel this way but we have been intimidated into silence, don’t you?
Amen, Sherry!!
Thank you, Diana 🙂
Yes!!! Yes!! I totally agree with you and people need to hear this truth. Unfortunately, my Mother is a huge feminist and I very much appreciate you, for you are a great example to us gals whom need womanly role model. Yes, I think you continually doing this is a wonderful idea. Please do continue. I love your channel/blog!
Thank you for the input. I am finding this is something I really enjoy and it is also not dependent on Big Tech as much, since I am essentially self-hosting (except for PodBean) and people can still listen as a podcast. I understand what it is like to have relatives who are deceived. even brothers and sisters in Christ who have been sucked into the culture.
Thank you for this post! You put into words what has been on my heart as well!
You are so welcome–thank you for your sweet words of encouragement, Savannah 🙂
Another dynamite article from Sherry Hayes!
Such an encouragement to wives and mothers alike during these tumultuous times; I may have gently read it aloud with my hubby while my in-laws were nearby 😉 Looking forward to the open doors to the gospel this may bring.
Keep walking with our King my friend!
Thank you, I will!
I love the audio format, thank you so much for doing this. It was so great to hear your voice again! I look forward to your messages as much as my children look forward to cake, seriously!
Aww, better than cake? Bless God! I am so glad you liked it–it was easier to do than video, sort of record and go, which makes it really convenient.
Amen! My pastor actually preached something with some of these tones a few Sundays ago. I just read it aloud to my husband and teens, and we talked through some of the things you brought up. Thank you for taking the time to clearly express this.
I think this is one of the messages God is speaking to us in these days. I just heard about a book out by Kimberly Cook (see the comment by Jane Ann) entitled “Motherhood Redeemed.” Interesting to hear it was echoed by your pastor. Thanks for letting me know.
Love, Love this post. I am doing an interview with Kimberly Cook tomorrow. She has just written a book called Motherhood Redeemed- How radical feminism betrayed maternal love. This book goes into the history of the Margaret Sanger and parts of her autobiography as well. SAME MESSAGE! THANK YOU! We fight like women by turning our hearts toward our homes!
Sounds like a great read! I’ll have to check out your interview. Thank you!
So much truth! If we, as women, truly want to be “empowered” we need to seek a greater understanding of our beautiful, God-given purpose and calling. We also need to seek a greater understanding of the purpose and calling of our husbands.
The Hebrew word for the Proverbs 31 virtuous wife is khayil. The meaning of this word cannot be translated into just one word. Biblically, it was used in connection with large armies of mighty force and can be translated a warring wife, a force to be reckoned with.
As women, God gave us the role of a mighty fighter. The feminist movement assigned this role only to men. So when God calls them to fight, (as He does with all women) their lack of understanding that husbands and wives fight side by side in very different ways causes them to assume the role of men and neglect their own very vital and fulfilling roles. Our beauty and our effectiveness as husband and wife lie in fulfilling those roles together, equally but differently, as one.
Your explanations of the God-given roles are spot on. When we understand these roles, we are free to enjoy our purpose and we free our husbands to fulfill their purpose. Women don’t even realize that in forsaking their own role and “wearing Saul’s armor” they are needlessly denying themselves the tremendous blessing of watching a man fight for and protect his family and build his home while simultaneously slaying giants the way that only a woman can.
You are so right. They will rise to the challenge. But first, we must know who we are and what we were created to do. Never underestimate the power and importance of khayil-the warring woman.
Wow, Jill! I am so blown away with your understanding and I never knew about the translation of that word. I was allowing Holy Spirit to teach me how to describe the roles that I knew in my heart but did not know how to articulate. What you have shared has been a confirmation. As I read I could see the warrior that He has created in us all. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it with all of us 🙂
I love what you have to say here. When I click on your name, it says you blog, but I can’t see a link to your blog. Could you share that, if its still something you do?
I’m not quite sure what you mean. This is my blog, although I also have a YouTube channel and a podcast.
Oh, I was trying to actually address Jill there. Sorry for the confusion! I certainly know your blog Sherry *grin*
No problem 🙂
Oh, I was trying to actually address Jill there. Sorry for the confusion! I certainly know your blog Sherry *grin*
I might also add that when women abandon their calling and “fight like a man” we all begin to lose the war. As is so clearly evident in our society today.
Yes! YES! Amen!! I have been saying this my whole life! I was taught to be a “feminist” but it never seemed right. So thankful for your words and encouragement!
I don’t think we are alone; I think there are many women who are bucking the system and going back to their Biblical roles. Time we all get more vocal!
This was beautiful. I’m stuck on your blog and I’m currently ordering your book. Thanks for your wide words.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and support, they mean a lot!
I wholeheartedly agree, Sherry! Have you heard of Phyllis Schlafly? She was a fierce advocate of the things you talked about – our answer to Betty Friedan. Thank you for the words the world, especially women, needs to hear !
Oh, yeah! I can remember her in the 80’s when she was a huge force for righteousness. She actually homeschooled her children, did you know? I have one of her books in my library. She loved Donald Trump, by the way, as she saw him as the only person strong enough to go against the evil in Washington.
Keep preaching sister! May you not be weary in well doing! I have been blessed by your work for about a decade now, and continually point other women your way.
On a different note, we have stopped using Am az0n entirely in the past two years, because of their business practices and manipulation. With the one exception of your work books. Have you considered selling them through another source?
Thank you for the encouragement, Christi. I have done research into different options, and, to tell the truth, there aren’t any 😛 Here’s to hoping there will be more opportunities in the future!
Thank you so much for writing this! My mom is a feminist and she has not been happy about our choice to homeschool. She’s told me that she wanted me to do better than she did (and by that she means being a career woman). I went to nursing school and became an RN. But as soon as my husband and I had our first child I felt the Lord leading me to stay home. My mom is such an unhappy person so I’m thankful that we followed the Lord’s leading; we aren’t a perfect family but we’re happy because we’ve chosen to follow what He says in His Word. We need more older women teaching the younger women how to love their husbands and their children. Thank you!
You are so welcome! I know what it is like to be surrounded by women who are so discouraging. It’s even in the church, sad to say, but thankfully God has given us other avenues of encouragement! I am so blessed by the “friendships” we’ve been able to develop online, aren’t you? And, I’ve also known some awesome women IRL that have cheered me along the way–they’re rare, but they’re out there. Blessings on you and your family!
Amen and amen. God help me, by your grace it can be done.
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37
When we are weak, He is strong.