Homebuilding 101: The Monstrosity Within

Is Jesus some sort of “self improvement” guru? Is Christianity nothing more than a means of “besting” ourselves?

Nothing wrong with being the best we can be, but by whose design and for whose purposes are the questions we need to be asking ourselves.

Today’s vlog entry will address these issues and help us get the right focus and keep the right perspective.


8 thoughts on “Homebuilding 101: The Monstrosity Within”

  1. Hi Sherry,
    I have a personal question I’m asking your opinion on, and I’m asking in the comments wondering what anyone else may think 🙂
    It’s that time of year again for family get togethers. Only this year-we don’t want to. (There I finally said it flat out). My side of the family is teeny tiny & spaced everywhere so we don’t see them, however…my husband’s side is just minutes away & we always get together at Xmas with them. For over 20 years we have. This year it’s put in our hearts to not expose the children to it. The family is split half & half. Half are great & we have no issues with, the other half are also great (there’s my problem…), but they have such nasty vulgar mouths. There’s no “let’s just sit with so-and-so”, everyone is totally mixed. I guess I’d honestly say the nastiness is more like 3/4 there. They mean well, but it’s vulgarity, inappropriateness (my worst part), most of the kids are bad & bratty, nasty mouths & jokes. My husband HATES going. Just hates it. I found out last year he was hiding out on this freezing cold porch all by himself for hours just to get away (I was with the kids & helping & thought he was just off talking to people). I felt terrible for him!! He just terribly hates it. Our 2 youngest now hate it because they say the other kids (cousins) are “mean to them”. The adults aren’t mean, not 1, just so inappropriate!! It breaks my heart for my kids & husband to feel this way & we aren’t going. I’m not subjecting my kids to any of it. We work much too hard to show them good, teach them right & such. Here’s the problem—our oldest is in the Army, stationed out of country, we haven’t seen him in a year (and are just DYING out of excitement for his visit!!!!) and he is still going. He wants to see everyone again & visit. That’s fine of course, but a little piece of me feels bad we won’t be with him on Xmas eve. I know it’s only a few hours & he’ll be home again with us though. It’s pushed in your face EVERYWHERE about “family” during the holidays & guilt gets to me. Tv, radio, stores, ads,music, friends, etc. Time for family-everywhere! I know if we don’t go they will throw a fit & be all bent out of shape & talk bad about us. I don’t care. I’m more watching out for my husband & kids for sure, but that tiny piece of guilt about “family time” eats away sometimes. Not to mention our oldest will be there & he’ll get the ear full about us. We are going to stay home, relax with hot chocolate/Christmas movies & have our first peaceful Christmas Eve ❤️!
    My question is, if anyone sees this, how does anyone else deal with feeling like you “have” to go because it’s family and just looking for opinions I guess!

    Thanks again for these videos, I can honestly say, in all truth, I depend on them to learn. I strongly limit myself on the computer & only read 3 blogs. Yours is such a blessing with all content (homeschooling, home making, home building, etc) that I truly appreciate it :). You break all this new-ness down for me in easily digestible chunks & I’m loving it!!

    • I understand your predicament, truly! If you will pardon me, it seems as though your reasons for second-guessing yourself all come from stuff they use to sell more hams and wrapping paper. Unless there is a real, scriptural, Holy-Ghost reason for you to attend (I mean GOD talking to you and not some commercials), why sweat it?

      Here’s a passage to meditate on:

      Matthew 10:32-39

      Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

      Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

      He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

      Having said that, make sure you aren’t being hypocritical. If you are asked why and the person you are speaking to is honestly wanting an answer, don’t lie to save your face. Be honest but with a loving heart, remembering where we would be without Jesus, but let them know it is because of the vulgarity, etc. (and pray for wisdom and peace). You may be surprised that others feel the way you do, or that they are concerned but haven’t been able to express it, or maybe they need to hear that their behaviors are not acceptable to some people.

      Or they may feel rejected or judged and use those words against you. I know how those words can induce the most acidic, stinging guilt, but then you are not responsible for all of their families, just the one under your roof, and making hard decisions is part of that responsibility.

      Just my take, but make sure and listen to the Lord and not me 🙂

    • Amy,
      Have you spoken to your husband’s family members about why you won’t be with them on Christmas Eve this year? I think they deserve to know, and it’s a great opportunity for witness, as well. Beyond that, and in regard to your feelings of guilt, Matthew 12:46-50 comes to mind. “While he [Jesus] was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, ‘Who is my mother and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. ‘”

  2. I’m sorry I did not see these comments before! Well, I suppose I could give a quick update here. My husband tried to explain why we weren’t coming & it went very very badly. It started an absolute war with his mom & sister in particular. They said some very very nasty things & it spiraled out of control. I didn’t necessarily see it coming, but I should have. The relationships were tense to begin with. In a nut shell we were told that we can’t shelter our kids forever (I know every one of you laughs at that homeschool remark, like we sit in this House day in & day out never leaving), they need to see the real world isn’t all peaches & cream & it’s full of disagreements & different personalities that don’t get along with each other. Even those who talk badly, bully (the kids bully the other kids AND adults & if you are bullied you ‘just stand up for yourself, that’s all’), swear & badmouth they said. Because “that’s real life you know!” So that’s how it went. Needless to say, we aren’t going anymore.

    • Oh, and another thing that is just as bad, we found out that 1 family member smokes pot & actually did it last year outside on Christmas Eve. That came up, how we don’t want to be around anything like that-ever & we don’t even want our younger ones to know what it is, but we basically were told it’s nothing & the “sheltering” issue came up again.
      So…they think all of this is normal to raise children in?? Odd. I thought we lived a very normal, basically low-stress life (for the most part) until now…maybe it’s because we’re so sheltered over here though lol


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